How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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