I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
