you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
