Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Randomize
