its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
