There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
