Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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