If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
