dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
