The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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