I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
