Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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