i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
