omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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