You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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