some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize