WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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