its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
