Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
