hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
