I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
