It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
