Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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