Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My brain says no but my pants say off.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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