so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
