so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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