Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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