did you get engaged???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
