Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
