i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
last night I used snow as a chaser
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