Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
