I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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