and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
