i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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