Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
her facebook's as public as her vagina
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
