You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My life is pants optional.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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