He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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