i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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