when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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