He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
