suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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