ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
