i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
