she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
