I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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