What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
