Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
