not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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