he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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