The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
