I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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