Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
