I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
