Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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