i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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