the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
