Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
