Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
