And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
