Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
