I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
