Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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