is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He felt like a one man threesome
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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